I hate your face
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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