She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
