the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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