haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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