We're like a lot better than the average bears
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
