Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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