I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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