I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
