I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
