shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
