all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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