my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
