I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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