I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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