I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
