Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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