That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
