How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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