as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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