I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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