...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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