i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
your room smells of hookers.
And success
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
