Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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