awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize