we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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