I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
