I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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