by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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