I need help removing her.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
