Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
