you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
