I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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