I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
