I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
