You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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