You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
