Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
