I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
