playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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