nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think your dad took our porno
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize