My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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