Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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