no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
