That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
