The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
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