i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
