Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
