I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
