She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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