There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
