There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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