That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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