He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
