I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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