HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
