I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Randomize
