Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
