I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
