Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize