i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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