how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
