Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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